teddytrumpet:

am I bored horny or just horny….

also am I bored hungry or actually hungry 

(via sassygayklavierspieler)

mycroftly:

when guardians of the galaxy finished and the credits started, a few people got up and started leaving and i said to my dad “this process is what i like to call ‘weeding out the weak’” and the woman in front of me heard me and laughed so hard she choked on her drink

(via profesor-reject)